in the cold mocking light of day

On the highest step of the conventional social ladder, the turnarounds in terms of love and passion seem to end at one point and start somewhere between what has happened and what’s left to happen. Trapped between the organic conclusions of past experiences and the obsolete innocence of future expectations, the relationship slash love, evoked by the present tense, looks like a black and white photo of a pure and yet uncertain virgin aching with desire and trembling with indecision - her heart is made up, but her mind is not. The opposite’s been known to happen as well. Duality’s what’s making her/him/us desirable. I said duality and not hypocrisy (I didn’t think you were one then, and I certainly don’t think you are one now – hypocrite that is – just felt the need to mention it and blog-ly apologize). Almost blindly stricken by an enormous emotional shove over the last floor’s balcony of perception, the reason crushes hopelessly on the concrete reality of lust, need, want, crave of one for the other. Seducing tactics, found in thick books of love or summer issues of sex magazines, do tend to fail as if they were these giant cannonballs brought in as a last resort in a war of exclusively high tech weapons – useless. The he/she routine, as it’s been known and successfully used by my parents, fits today’s relationship-al needs like a ruptured umbrella on a pouring-cats-and-dogs day – useless yet again. Seeking advice is the final stage of the socio-cultural disease of sharing the togetherness. Upon making love, we make the mistake of making possession and making promises and we dismiss the act itself that reveals from two beings colliding on the shady life’s orbit. Their reason and reasonable emotions for one another get so stuck on the mazey webs of maybes, whens, ifs, and whys that their initial quest for pleasure soon goes out of their focus. Questions become answers and the answers are even more questionable as words get lost for other words. When inside all of this chaos of rapture-driven-need of sharing and being shared the answer should be self explanatory: that one other person. Whose blink of an eye makes your stomach tremble, whose licking of lips makes you wish you had a taste, whose first breath in the morning is that life saving oxygen breath you'd linger on forever. That person makes the maybes turn into yeses, the whens into nows, the ifs into for sures and the whys into becauses without any preliminary intention. Self explanatory and yet so damn hard to explain: you do!