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Monday, October 6
faded to pretend
there are mornings and there are m-o-r-n-i-n-g-s. the spelled ones are sad even tho the sun is up, even tho the light shines brighter than it did the day before. reason? none. they just are sad and pointless and most of all useless. as they are fated to end. as i am fated to pretend that something good might be standing just right around the corner. but might it? and what's the point in pretending? the sweater i'm wearing today will be old news tomorrow. the face i'm looking at in the mirror today will be all wrinkly and constantly reminding me of what i failed to do rather than what i've succeeded. the boy i love today will be so old news just like my nowadreams just like i will be for him. life is a big fade in fade out sequence. but what happens in between? where do all the fading outs go? faded loves, faded films, faded books, faded actors, faded parents, faded men, faded women, faded friendships? does anyone give a flying f' about them and recycles them for when there will be no more to fade in to? guess not. so my question is this: if the stuff we stubbornly believe will last a small eternity fades away for good, why can't we have the same fading fate? what if this is it? what if what we get in this lifetime is all we get and that's it? what then? what now? what now and then?
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Well you know what I think you have to believe this is all we get just so it may inspire you to do what you really want to do in your life. We all go through that at any age but life happens so fast. It really does. So we have got to be sure we are focused on the RIGHT things. I love this post because I think you speak for everyone in it. I think at some point we have to throw our hands up to the universe and say your will, will be done on this earth and just go along for the ride. Everything can fad in an dout of yoru life and we never se them again. My next post is sort of about taking personal responsibility for everything we do. Make sure you know what truly is important to you, respect yourself enough to go after them, dont hurt anyone else along the way knowingly and at least you can say you gave it your best shot and you weent sitting around wsiting for someone to make your dreams come true. Lovely, thoughtful, honest post. I love the rawness and honesty in your writing. Thank you for sharing.
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