sorry seems to be...

Before excitement turns to boredom there’s the unique and sometimes indescribable first time.
What about daily first times?
I’ve been ignoring them for the last couple of days.
I’ve missed the points that mattered and pillowed my disturbed head on fluffy misconceptions.
I’ve been swimming waters of delusion and feared drowning in sorrow while standing on the shore.
My mid days have struggled to turn into midnights just as I struggled to turn off the light before going bed – darkness makes me shiver with fear.
I’ve been floating on the bottom of my deepest fears counting my slow motion breaths.
I’ve been laying on the downside of the down side facing an ice cold floor that my breath heated with exhalations.
I’ve been wrong to trade daily first-time-green-smiles for no-reason-pathetically-sad hours.
I’ve been wrong not to reply to kindness with kisses and hugs of infinite strength.
I’ve been wrong to have been wrong when you were right all along.