Int. Liquor store. 5 AM in the morning. Behind the desk a hot young 23 years old girl: brown curly medium long hair, apple-ish breasts, loose green sweater. She’s drinking Dr. Pepper and watching the commercial channel.
Door bell rings. Boy bursts into the store. Hooded covered head, but fierce piercing look.
Girl: Hope you didn’t plan to hold me up. They’re running commercials by movie directors. Lynch is up next.
Boy: I had in mind to bring a plastic gun, but I’m not planning a hold up. I plan to smash my brains or my ex-girlfriend’s face.
Girl: Can’t assist with the latter, but over 40% alcohols are in the back, third row on your left. I recommend the absinthe. Knocks you up instantly, but beware of delusions.
Boy: No thanks! Have deluded myself plenty lately. Will stick to vodka.
Girl: Yeah. Goes hand in hand with pills. Or should I say rant in rant?
Boy: I’m not trying to kill myself. Just to get drunk. I’m a has been alcoholic about to fall off the wagon.
Girl: Over some girl? Say hello to mister P! Pathetic in case you fell behind on my humor.
Boy: Not over some girl. I just have drinking craving and want to quench my thirst. What are you, AA counselor or something?
Girl: Nope. I’m an undercover nun running a liquor store, trying to get people on the wagon. The less I sale the more I gain. Spiritually wise.
Boy: Quite the predicament we’re in: I’m an undercover archangel having to drink all the liquor from liquor stores so people don’t fall off the wagon. The more I drink, the more I gain. Spiritually wise wise.
Girl: How bout you drink some cinnamon medicine from Dr. Pepper?
Boy: Keep your holy poison to yourself, sister. I’ll grab the vodka.
He reaches for the top shelf, picks up a bottle of Absolut Disco and heads for the counter.
Girl: Planning a party, eh?
Boy: Glitter stops my flitter.
His words barely parted with his lips that he tripped over a misplaced cart and fell smashing the bottle on the floor and cutting his left wrist along the way.
Boy: Mother………..
Girl: Woa, no cursing. Please.
She leaves the counter and heads toward the isle where he was laying.
Girl: Holy shit you cut your wrist!
Boy: Unintendedly. Believe me. But this vodka mixing with my blood makes me dizzy. Or maybe it’s your perfume. Wait, no. It’s your eyes. Man you have outstanding eyes!
Girl: Standing out of all the booze around you?
Boy: No. Standing out of the angel world. Hold me. I’m cold.
Girl: That’s cause you’re standing on cold cement. The heat is off.
Boy: Nothing I say is ever good enough for you.
Girl: You say nothing good whatsoever. And you made me miss the show with all your drama.
Boy: It’s a rerun by the way. Lynch sucks. You’ll like Jonze better.
Girl: I like you better.
Boy: Why?
Girl: Why not?
Boy: Can’t think of any reason. Other than having messed up your mission and your floor along the way.
Girl: You had to: to make me take better notice.
Boy: Yeah, but you missed Lynch.
Girl: Something tells me I’ll like Jonze better. Come on, get up.
Boy: Will you marry me?
Girl: Only on Sunday.
Boy: Are nuns allowed to marry?
Girl: Only to angels. Give me your hand.
Boy: It’s vodka broken.
Girl: We’ll fix it by Sunday.
-
3 comments:
darn it. reading this piece I almost missed Jonze myself.
bow.
I LOVED this! LOVED it!
Once again, you lived up to your name, rocksnowhite!
Your talent never ceases to amaze me.
Love you,
Jlo
PS: Will be publishing your guest post soon. Trying to publish two or so a week. Will let you know.
Sorry I'm so late in posting my comments...work has taken me on a few travels as of late...but now that I am able, I certainly wanted to "visit".
Our cottage, The Painted Nest is not abundant in PINK (gasp, I know, LOL) nonetheless the fun continues, as I participated in this past Sat. Pink Posting... :)
Happy to be here tonight and read your work...i agree entirely with Jlo...you have not let me down! :) Never stop writing..it is in your soul!
Post a Comment