my very best friend told me what she really thought about a choice i have made 7 years after i made it.
why didn't you say anything before? i asked her.
who am i to say anything about you or to judge you?
you are my friend, i replied.
even so, it does not give me any rights to tell you what i think about your choices. they are your choices. what if my point of view is entirely unsuitable for you?
and she was right. and i loved her even more for that.
i remember when i was 16 or 17 and even some time after that giving my own opinion about people's choices in terms of jobs, lovers, and sometimes even lives. sign that my life was not good enough for me or that i had so much time on my hands that i could waste it on other people's lives. i was petty, sad and stupid and defined the saying: get a life!
stupidity has its price and i am glad to say i have paid for mine. luckily it was on sale.
i like to think that i got smarter with time and with the shit i fed on.
smart enough: to know a good man when i see one, to return the favor of making me laugh, to not care about the he said, she said, to see myself in the eyes that look at me and feel good about what i see.
i guess it's all about perspective, angle and heart. but they have to come from the inside and sure as hell have to be looking in. it's hard, but as long as i'll be able to be looking out the window inside myself nothing bad can happen.
there will always be the he said she said bullshit because people are empty and need fillers. just like the one time summer hits to shake the asses on.
the saddest thing about this whole fucked up life is that the more i grow the more i despise human nature. myself included.
that's why i think children rule. their true to form and core, they never give a shit about grown ups and the best thing about them, they have the chi by default.
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1 comment:
You are so right about children and its sad that they get this gorgeous self esteem knocked out of them. I think its all about self esteem. If you are truly comfortable with yourself then you dont feel the need to tell anyone else what to do (except if you are a parent it is hard.....not to give advice......). With age, sometimes comes maturity and to me sounds like you have got it going on. We all just need to like ourselves better and the rest becomes so much easier....great post.
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